It's been three months!

March arrives and I am fully aware I have not had a period since December I am also aware that every hpt (home pregnancy test) has been negative. Poorhubs is tired of buying them and I am tired of wishing for my period (wth?! By the way...) and googling "three months no period" so I suck it up and call the dr. Her first response "why did you wait three months to call?" I made up some lame excuse about exercise and February being a short month but here are my real reasons I'm sharing with you.
1. I'm scared there's nothing wrong and I'm being a weenie.
2. I'm scared I'm three months pregnant and I'm gonna have my baby in the bathroom like the ladies on that show "I didn't know I was pregnant"
3. I'm scared there's something wrong with me.
So four hours of poking, prodding, peeing in a cup, and having way too much blood taken (is this Twilight?) the diagnosis is...
PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) with IR (insulin resistance). Scratching your heads? I was too. Two most important things: hormone imbalance with possible ovarian cysts. This means no egg. No egg means no baby. Thing two: insulin resistance means weight gain and possible diabetes later in life. Dr's recommendation: yas birth control to balance those hormones and get my period back (yay?) and metformin to take care of that insulin resistance. For six months. No more trying. Well, not no more trying...;) you know what I mean! Also, weight loss. I have been dieting since December so I was kinda crushed when she basically said "Not good enough" she said try weight watchers but I'm going the "let Hubs politely push my butt into shape" way. Remember my first post where I said he lost 125 lbs? If he can't help me no one can. Only problem is my stubborness and the fact he won't/can't be mean to me or there will be consequences. Bring in the local besties! They are making me walk everday. And everyone is helping me make good food choices.
Everyone who knows (hey I'm working on it!) has immediately asked how I'm feeling, if I'm worried etc. The answer is heck yes! I'm worried I won't be able to have that baby I finally want and that i won't be able to be healthy. I'm mad that I have to google pcos to find info cause my dr sure didn't help. But the hubs is always supplying that silver lining that at least we have an answer and solutions. Are they easy? No way! Can I do it? If I want that sweet big headed baby of our dreams do I have another choice? Next post=operation pcos management.

Come on baby

Let the baby fever begin! August was a crazy month, moving into a house, going back to school, and researching baby related topics. If my first characteristic was stubborness the second is curiousity. I must research everything before committing. I never realized how much luck and timing goes into babymaking. So I figured I had plenty of time to prepare myself since I've been on birth control for almost 10 years. When that clearblue digital said "pregnant" in October...my honest reaction was "holy crap!" which I said loudly and that is how I broke the news to the hubs...I will fix that next time around. Ideas on how to share that news would be great.
The next day I called the dr to schedule a blood test to confirm, but the hcg levels (something they never tell you about till you research the baby thing) were low. About a week later I had the worst cramps of. My. Life. Follow up bloodwork confirmed a natural miscarriage. Here's where this communication thing hits hard. You may be a wonderful friend hearing this for the first time. I am sorry I didn't tell everyone but to be honest October is a rough month anyway with my mom's passing anniversary. And since I am new to this whole babymaking/communicating thing, I don't always know how to handle it. Hubs and besties were there and great and dr said there was no reason to not try again so that's what we did. And did. And did. ;) Humor people! That's my communication. This will lead us to March.

My New Lifestyle

As an opening statement, I am not a good communicator. I forget to tell things or don't want to tell things of a personal nature. However as I should have learned by now "Never Say Never." The important thing is I am changing my ways but I should probably backtrack a little...Six years ago I met my husband and my best group of friends ever while in college. My husband was 125 lbs heavier, my friends and I were together all the time in SAI. Fast forward 4 years, all my besties are marrying and so am I. My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer which she passed away from a year ago. My hubs and I both both became music teachers and bought a house in Shreveport and the besties scattered around Texas. Teaching and traveling the great state of Texas has been our life for the past two years. There is your back story.
This summer my hubs and I bought the cutest house. Finally leaving the world of renting can do strange things like make a woman who has never wanted children to reconsider that pitter-patter talk. See you have to understand where I'm coming from. As the hubs and besties know I can be stubborn. My mom's dying wish was grandkids. She told me this frequently. If I had a shotgun wedding, she would've fainted with grandmotherly joy. But I didn't give her that joy. Cause I'm stubborn.
But now there's this house and this great hubs that wants a kid more than anything and I can see the appeal now. So this August we decided to start trying. Hubs and besties = ecstatic! This is where the adventure really began.